Snitcher, Sneaker, and Snickers
by Goth Senshi Pheonyx
Summary: just old fashioned insanity people. characters are just thrown into what seems to be a plot and some comments are made while the story is going on. it's all humor man! please r


Snitcher (TM), Sneaker, and Snickers  
  
Genre: humor (thanks a lot Kittie! *wink*)  
  
a/n: this is from what Kittie, Tessa, and I called our "Happy, School's Finally Over" night of celebration and Kittie got the bright idea of laughing and trying to say that I looked like a "snitcher", or someone who catches a Snitch. So, of course, she gave me this wonderful idea. . . The "Sneaker" and "Snicker" part of the conversation came around 3:30 in the morning after we were basically high on Pixi Stix and Dr. Pepper. So. . . on with the story! ^-^  
  
~*~  
  
As we come into the Hogwarts scenery, we notice that evil Snape is walking near the lake and Talyn just wants to push him in so the giant squid (octopus, whatever) will hopefully eat him and we will never see him again. Sadly, this won't happen.  
  
Snape has no idea where he is at the moment because a memory charm has backfired on him and he's just aimlessly wandering around the grounds. Finally, he sees himself in the waters reflection and looks disgusted.  
  
"I need to wash my hair," he says aloud and walks back into the castle with a stupid grin on his face, looking very un-Snapelike.  
  
The kids of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry looked at Snape like he had turned into Fluffy, Hagrid's three-headed dog that shared a scary resemblance to Cerberus the dog that resided in Hades, and ran around with flowers in his hand like he was about to profess his love to Trelawney or McGonnagal.  
  
So, needless to say, everyone was afraid that he'd have to be sent to St. Mungo's for his erratic behavior. Even Dumbledore himself was afraid of the potions master, who unfortunately didn't remember what potion was used to get memory back when it was badly needed. Like when some of the Death Eaters (who were forced into it) had lost some of their memories while working for Voldemort and the Ministry of Magic had to use a certain potion which Snape knew how to make.  
  
It was a very bad day as most people started putting it.  
  
Voldie was running around in his sixteen year old form again, terrorizing the school as usual. Thus forcing a lot of the prefects to hide in Moaning Myrtle's (that sounds so wrong man) bathroom, which is really odd because a lot of prefects are guys.  
  
(*Talyn looks at Firecat oddly and shakes her head, letting the nutty teen go on with the story*)  
  
Anyways, since everything is breathing havoc, Draco and Harry decided to practice their quidditch skills at the field with their Nimbus 2001 and Firebolt. It's very weird that these two mortal enemies decided to practice together (no not that way. *Firecat gets slapped*) because, what no one really knew except for certain fanfiction writers, was that they were indeed lovers. Well, Hermione found out and got really pissed, then turned around and started messing around with Cho and Ron (Firecat: ooo, threesome *gets slapped again*).  
  
Voldemort had somehow managed to bring back the basilisk to life and sent it after Harry once again before he ran after Ginny and kidnapped her. She didn't really notice because she found the wonderful thing that a lot of muggle teenagers liked; MJ (I refuse to say the name because I'll get me bum kicked) and was toasted off her ass.  
  
All the professors, excluding Snape, ran away in fear because they had no idea what was going on. Sneakers were falling around most people and being aimed at the students to get them to be unconscious, same goes for the professors too.  
  
While at the quidditch field, Draco met the most wonderful thing in the world, well, muggle world: Pixi Stix. Harry had stolen a lot of bags from Dudley and stashed them in his trunk so he could have them at Hogwarts.  
  
Draco, sadly to say, got extremely hyper and almost fell off his broom because he was laughing so hard. Well, it wouldn't be that bad anyway since he was only about three feet off the ground. He started singing the "Outback Song" which no one really remembers the actual name of the song but just calls it 'the outback song' because of it being Australia's national anthem (Firecat: or so one of my teachers said! Like a few years ago too). Harry was laughing at Draco becoming more loose and happy (yay) and then mentioned something about Snickers.  
  
"What's a Snicker?"  
  
"It's a candy bar."  
  
"Oh, I thought you were talking about a different way of laughing," he giggled. (thus 'snigger')  
  
"No, no, it's this chocolate bar that has nuts (*Firecat and Talyn bust out laughing*), and other stuff."  
  
By this time Draco fell off his broom and clutched his sides from laughing so hard. His broom hovered in the air above him as Harry got off his broom (Firecat:. . . I refuse to say it, I am NOT going to say ANYTHING) and sat beside Draco.  
  
And so, as the "story" ends, we find everyone who was inside Hogwarts unconscious, including Madame Pomfrey (ack, can't spell), and there were all different kinds of muggle sneakers everywhere. All ranging from different sizes to different brands like Nike, Air Jordan (Firecat: grr. . .evil bloody youja), Chuck Taylor All Star Converse High Tops, along with moles or low tops, Candies, and many other useless brands that anyone can think of and are useless lying little buggers.  
  
Draco and Harry came up with a new name of the person who catches a Snitch.  
  
Talyn, "SNITCHER(TM)!!!!!"  
  
And so, the day is saved by Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. . .no, wait, wrong show, wrong anything for that matter!  
  
~*~  
  
a/n: um, yeah, I am a nut. I'll tell you that much right now. But anyways, the reason why there is a little (TM) sign after Talyn saying "snitcher" is because she came up with the saying (aka Kittie) while we were being our usual nut selves and talking about Harry Potter. This was also before she tried to put the death curse on our friend Tessa, she said 'Kadabra' instead of the other one. And this was also before, I think, she acted like Steve Irwin and started talking about watching Parsley in its native habitat.  
  
Anyways, that's all, I just had to put this down. This had no plot whatsoever and it'll probably never be re-written to where it does have one. That's the beauty of insanity mixing with boredom and talking about MSTs with Harry Potter stuff. 


End file.
